


Love Again

by writing_and_procrastinating



Category: The Illuminae Files - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 02:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14946123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_and_procrastinating/pseuds/writing_and_procrastinating





	1. Part I

_His big hands glided over your skin, softly, slowly. He slid one hand under your back, opening your bra and pulling it off your chest. His lips wandered from the curve of your neck to your collarbone, peppering your skin with light kisses, leaving hickeys in your (s/c) flesh. His right hand rested next to your head, holding his body up, while his left hand gently caressed your body, his hip pressing hard against yours.  
“Niklas…please…” The words left your mouth before you could stop them, begging him to do something, anything, to ease the pressure between your legs._

You woke up in cold sweat, your body jolting upwards, head hitting the overhead trapeze attached to your bed in the infirmary aboard the Hypatia. Everyone around you was either asleep or unconscious. Your eyes found the clock hanging on the wall, internally groaning when you read the time.  
“Get it together, (Y/L/N),” you mumbled, hands rubbing over your face in a hopeless attempt to get rid of the images flashing in your mind, reminding you of the passionate night you shared with the young criminal on Heimdall exactly 227 days, 3 hours and 48 minutes ago.  
You arrived on Heimdall after your parents sent you away, disowning you after you were arrested for underaged drinking, being under the influence and for possession and distribution of drugs. You were a clever child, graduated from high school on Jia I at the age of 15, top of your grade, all due to your parents pushing you above and beyond your limits. But after your graduation they didn’t stop, they kept forcing you to learn and study as well as participate in activities you had no interest in. So one day you sneaked out of your room and went to a club with some older friends who you somehow were still in contact with even with practically no free time. And from that night on, every weekend you made up excuses to go out. Going completely off the rails, doing drugs, drinking hard liquor and starting a relationship with a guy two years older than you. He just so happened to be a drug dealer, yours in particular. One night, however, there was a raid at the club you always hung out at, selling drugs to people your age and older, dancing and drinking in the overheated room. The police immediately arrested you, since you were a minor after all and couldn’t run away as quickly as your friends, who ditched you and left you for the cops to get you. At the time your parents bailed you out, you were unresponsive, not caring about what happened around you. The next morning they told you to pack your bags and sent you to a jumpstation across the universe. 

The infirmary on Heimdall became your new home, where you went through rehab in hopes your parents would accept you back home once you were clean. But after countless attempts of trying to send them messages, every single one came back unanswered, you gave up and spend time mostly by yourself. Word about your intelligence spread around quickly and on a Thursday in October in 2574, Mikhail Malikov, member of the feared House of Knives, approached you after dinner. He asked you to tutor his daughter, Ella, who was bound to a wheelchair due to losing the function of both her legs when she survived the lysergia plague at a young age. You were too terrified of getting on Mikhail’s bad side, so you agreed and quickly formed a friendship with the girl who was three years younger. And since Ella was loved by every member of the House of Knives aboard Heimdall, they took you in rather quickly when they saw how much the young girl loved you. And with tutoring Ella, came meeting Nik. The sarcastic boy immediately managed to get into your heart and you two couldn’t go a day without playfully flirting with each other. But 442 days, about one year, two months and one week after you started tutoring Ella, both of you probably made one of the worst mistake, if not the worst, of your lives. On that Friday morning, Nik asked you, if you wanted to hang out with him later that day, watch a movie and just talk, “You’re my cousin’s teacher, I just wanna get to know you,(Y/N)” he said with a wink. Of course, you agreed, but after a few drinks both your clothes started to fall to the ground and you ended up having sex with the Niklas Malikov, drug dealer and twice imprisoned for murdering two people, one of them a child. You knew he didn’t actually do it but took the blame his younger brother Erik to protect him, but he was still a criminal.  
About two weeks after your shared night with Nik, you found out you were pregnant. Hysterical as you were, you ran to someone that was like a father to you, Isaac Grant, asking him to transfer you somewhere else. He suggested Kerenza IV, where you could live with his wife and daughter, Kady. So the next day, after packing up your few possessions and lying to Mikhail Malikov, telling him that there had been an emergency with your family and you needed to leave Heimdall, you were sent to Kerenza IV. There you were welcomed with open arms by Mrs Grant and Kady. Deciding you wanted to spend some time with people your age, you were registered at McCaffry Tech as a senior, picking the same subjects as Kady since you two became immediate best friends after she accidentally discovered your pregnancy. The Grants didn’t change their mind about keeping you with them after finding out about your past and the fact that you were pregnant, however, you didn’t tell them who the father was, wanting to forget everything about Nik, Ella and their family.

And now here you were, on the Hypatia, on your way back to Heimdall to spread word about the BeiTech’s attack on Kerenza IV and you were stuck in the infirmary, again, after passing out when the Alexander was basically blown apart. You thought Kady hadn’t made it out and you just couldn’t deal with all that stress, even though in the end she managed to get back on the Hypatia. So to keep your stress levels at a minimum you were ordered bed-rest until…well until the medical personnel thought you didn’t need it anymore. You were only a few hours away from Heimdall, and even though Kady didn’t want to tell you what exactly was going on, you had a feeling it wasn’t good.

After several hours of laying in bed, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling above you, Kady and Ezra, who you were good friends with now as well, came running into the room you were stationed in.  
“What’s up? What happened? No one responded to my messages,” you asked them as soon as you saw them entering.  
“It’s a long story, (Y/N). We don’t want to stress you too much..”  
“Yea…to be honest I still don’t really get it,” Erza trailed off, staring at the wall, lost in thought before shaking his head and coming back to the here and now.  
“Can everyone stop treating me like I’m made out of glass? I’m pregnant, not dying,” you complained, being sick of the way people treated you around here.  
“Okay, calm down. I’ll try to explain it-“  
“Kady, you’re forgetting that (Y/N) over her is basically a genius,” Ezra interrupted his girlfriend. Kady just responded with a glare and explained everything that went down on Heimdall. BeiTechs invasion, Hanna, Nik, and Ella trying to defeat the invaders and the Gemina paradox. When Kady mentioned Nik Malikov and Ella Malikova, your body visibly tensed, hands fidgeting with your blanket.

_His hips pushed against yours, his lips attached to your neck, pleasuring you in all the right ways. Your hands tried to grip onto something, anything. One tangled into his hair while the other left angry red marks on his back, settling just above his butt as he continued thrusting into you. You moaned his name, looking up at his beautiful face, twisted in pleasure.  
“Fuck, (Y/N)…,” he groaned as you clenched around him, bringing you both closer to your release._

“(Y/N)? Are you there?” Ezra waved a hand in front of your face, forcefully removing you from your daydream.  
“Huh?” You blinked several times, looking up at Kady and Ezra still standing before you.  
“You drifted off…Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Kady watched you with a worried expression on her face.  
“Yea, I’m…No I’m okay. It’s nothing,” you tried to tell your friends, but mostly trying to convince yourself.  
“Yea, sure. Cut that bullshit, (Y/N). We know you well enough to know you suck at lying.”  
“Ezra!”  
“What? You know I’m right, Kades.”  
“Guys!” you interrupted the arguing couple, ”Listen…It’s complicated and I honestly have no idea how to explain this without sounding like either an idiot or a complete fuck-up…”  
Kady sat down on your bed, taking one of your hands and giving it a tight squeeze.  
“Whatever it is, you can tell us. Right, Ez?” Ezra nodded his head, his hair flopping up and down from the quick motion.  
“Well…You obviously both know I used to live on Heimdall. Uhm, basically, I tutored Ella Malikova, since she didn’t go to school or anything. So her dad came up to me and asked me to teach Ella stuff normal kids her age would learn in school. Not that she needed it, since she’s really clever but we became friends quite quickly, she was like a little sister to me and with that, I also met other members of the House of Knives-“  
“Hold on, wait. House of Knives? Like, drug-dealing, murdering House of Knives?”  
“Unless you know a friendly, neighbourhood House of Knives, Ezra, yes that House of Knives. So anyways, Ella’s cousin, Nik, and I became kinda friends too, I guess? So one day he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him, to get to know me a bit better…”  
This time Kady interrupted you, “Oh, I can already see where this is going. You’re kidding me, right? Please tell me it’s not what I am thinking.”  
Your response was just a small nod of your head, eyes looking down at your blanket, hands fidgeting.  
“Wait I’m lost, what’s happen-OH! OH NO! (Y/N), seriously? Him?!”  
“Hey, you told me you wouldn’t judge! You don’t know Nik like I do.”  
“Yea, I’m sure of that and trust me it’ll never get that f-OOF”, Ezra bend over as Kady rammed her elbow into his rips and gave him a warning look.  
“We’ll figure something out, but one way or another, he will see you and from what I can judge he’s not stupid so he’s gonna know that it’s his child,” Kady smiled at you, when suddenly her and Ezra’s palmpad beeped, telling them to get to Bay 6, where they would be transported to the Mao in 10 minutes.  
“I’ll pick you up when your shuttle docked to the Mao, okay (Y/N)?” Kady and Ezra turned to the door, waving goodbye to you and walking to their designated bay hand and hand.

Just two hours later you were in Bay 8 on the Mao, seated in a wheelchair since everyone around you seemed to think you were going to collapse the second you’d have to walk on your own. After waiting several minutes, Kady finally walked up to you and pushed your wheelchair down one of the halls.  
“Kady, wait, can you stop?”  
“Everything alright, (Y/N)? Do you need anything?” She walked around the wheelchair, standing in front of you.  
“No, I just need to get out of this thing and move my legs.” You stood up, slightly wobbly due to not walking for quite a while and the heavy weight of your belly, being nearly 8 months pregnant and all. Kady immediately stabilised you.  
“Are you sure this is a good idea?”  
“You know what, Kady? I’m sick of people treating me like I’m dying or like I’m going to fall apart any second. I’m pregnant, not life-threateningly sick. I was just a bit stressed, that’s why I passed out. It’s nothing. I’m completely fine and you all are pretending like I can’t do anything on my own, while I clearly can. So, please, I would appreciate it if for once you would treat me like a normal person and not like I’m made out of glass”, you ranted, clearly frustrated with the situation.  
“Okay, calm down, (Y/N). I get it. Let’s fold up this wheelchair, just in case and then we can head to the infirmary,” Kady said.  
“Infirmary? Why?”  
“Oh, shit…Well, you see,” she tried to avoid the question, but after a deathly glare from you, she decided it would be useless not to tell you now.  
“Ella was attacked by a four-headed snake and she’s in the infirmary now, together with my dad who got shot…”  
“Well, let’s go, why are we standing around like idiots?”

Kady was the first one to burst through the door, running to her dad who laid on a stretcher, waiting for his surgery. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on the young girl who was like a sister to you. As quickly as possible, given your state, you walked over to her bed.  
“Stars above, I’m so sorry, Ella. I shouldn’t have left, I should’ve said goodbye.” You hugged her as tightly as you could, your hands rubbing her back. When you pushed back, Ella’s expression was completely blank, her eyes wandering from your face to your stomach.  
“(Y/N/N)? But…What the fuck?” she pulled back her oxygen mask to speak, her words quiet but you knew she definitely didn’t expect to see you.  
“Listen, I’m sorry okay. I know I should’ve said something to you-“  
“No, what the fuck?! Who-What happened?” she exclaimed. You looked at the ground trying to find the right words to explain when you heard a deep voice, “(Y/N)?” Turning around you faced the boy who you left all these months ago. Niklas Malikov. He still looked as handsome as he did when you left Heimdall, if not more. While you were busy talking to Ella, you hadn’t noticed Nik starring at you, mouth open, face blank in shock. Only when Ella nearly screamed at you, he came back to his senses.  
“Nik…” you whispered, not really trusting your voice.  
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” Captain Syra Boll asked.  
“Wait, so you’re (Y/N). The (Y/N), Nik was in love with until she disappeared?” The blonde girl, you assumed it was Hanna Donnelly, that had been leaning against a wall spoke up. Your eyes turned from her up to Nik’s face, a light blush dusting his cheeks.  
“(Y/N), I…,” before he could say anything, his eyes trailed down your body, settling on your stomach, like Ella’s previously had. You could see the gears in his head turning, doing the math and coming to the conclusion that you were obviously pregnant with his child.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Listen, I-I wanted to tell you but I…I was scared and afraid. I didn’t know what to do, the both of us are teenagers, you’re a drug-dealer, for fuck’s sake. And I-I just freaked out and asked Mr Grant to get me somewhere else, anywhere but Heimdall and he send me to Kerenza,” you tried to explain but were interrupted when Nik wrapped his arms around you, hugging carefully but tightly.  
“I thought something happened to you, (Y/N)…Don’t ever do this to me again,” he whispered into your ear before pulling away.  
“I hate to break you two apart, but we have some serious matters to discuss,” Syra said, smiling at you and Nik.

After your improvised meeting, Nik pulled you away into a storage closet to get some privacy. He opened his mouth to speak but before he got to that you grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips onto his chapped ones. His arms wrapped around your waist pulling you as close as possible with your belly in the way, your arms wrapping around his neck, your hands moving into his hair. You were the first one to pull away, the lack of air causing you to gasp for air.  
“I love you,” Nik suddenly blurted out, startling you for a second even though you knew you felt the same for him.  
“I-I love you, too,” you smiled up at him.  
“Do-Do you know the gender?”  
“Yes…a girl, it’ll be a girl.”  
“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you after that night, but since you were Ella’s tutor I didn’t know if you even wanted me as your boyfriend-“  
“Of course I wanted you as my boyfriend Nik. I still do. You don’t need to apologise, I do. I should’ve told you. About me being pregnant. But I panicked and-“  
“No, (Y/N), don’t. I know you, and I know you tend to overthink things. We both could’ve done things differently but that doesn’t matter. We’re here now. Together. That’s all that counts,” he pecked your lips again.  
“The next few days will be stressful but as soon as this is over, I promise you we will go settle down somewhere and take care of our little girl together.”  
“Well, two little girls. I’m not leaving Ella alone,” you chuckled.


	2. Part II

About two weeks after you came aboard the Mao, things started to take a bad turn. Firstly, after Ezra got the assignment to train some people on how to fly the fighters the Mao had, Ezra decided he wanted Nik as his gunner. Obviously, the people who used to live on Heimdall knew of Nik’s past; and a guy named McCubbin and several others started beating him up. What Nik didn’t tell you was that he was the first one to throw a punch, after McCubbin said something about how you’re ‘a slut for being pregnant at that age’ and some other nasty stuff. Nik, being the gentleman he is, couldn’t let this go without doing something. So rationally, he punched McCubbin, ultimately breaking his nose.  
The next day, you woke up to the news that AIDAN released all the excess carbon monoxide into Level 3 and 4, killing over 2,000 people in the process. To say you were furious would’ve been an understatement. You, alongside Kady and some other people, hoped that AIDAN got over his murderous, rebel phase but apparently he had only just started. So Kady had to turn AIDAN off again but still, people were rioting, demanding for Captain Syra Boll to step back. Leader of this whole Rebellion was ex-Security Chief of Heimdall, Ben Garver. Two days after the mass genocide, Ben Garver somehow managed to assemble thirty people to take over the Mao. At that time, you were seated in your bed in the infirmary, next to Ella, trying to assemble the ‘Illmuniae Files’, basically putting together messages, emails and more which could be used as evidence for BeiTechs attacks on Kerenza and Heimdall. You only heard about the uprising from Kady, when she sent Ella and you messages about how Garver started a mutiny on the bridge and locked everyone in there. However, the conflict was quickly resolved when Ella reactivated AIDAN after Nik, Hanna and Ezra managed to take over the Server Room.

Two Days later you arrived at Kerenza, the distress call had reached you and you all had a plan figured out. The plan didn’t involve BeiTech sending people from the Churchill to the Kenyatta though. Neither did it involve the fighter Ezra and Nik were flying in to be shot. You were on the bridge with Kady, wanting to help as much as you could and give Ella the space she needed with all her monitors. Everything around you was chaos when Kady suddenly stopped everything she was doing, staring at one of the screens before her, not registering anything that happened around her.  
“Kady!” You heard Ella scream at her through the intercoms, as you walked up to her, wanting to see what caused her to lose her focus.  
“…They’re gone…,” she mumbled, still staring at the screen.  
“Who’s gone, Kady?” you asked, part of you fearing the answer, hoping this wasn’t real, that Kady didn’t mean who you thought she meant.  
“Ezra and Nik…They’re-“  
You didn’t know what she said afterwards, indistinctively you could hear Ella through the intercoms, as everything around you went blurry. The people rushing around, the constant beeping, the flashing of screens, the sparks bursting from computers, people yelling for instructions, everything faded away. This couldn’t be happening. No, this wasn’t real, he’s still alive. You couldn’t believe it, you didn’t want to believe. Black dots clouded your vision, you saw a familiar face appear in front of you but at that time your knees were already giving out underneath you and you were slumping to the ground.

By the time you woke up again, Kady was standing above you, together with Hanna. Both girls looked more than worried, tears brimming their eyes but happy to see you awake. You didn’t remember what happened before you passed out but the fact that you saw Hanna made you come to the conclusion that all went well and the Mao was docked to BeiTech’s portable jumpstation Magellan.  
“What happened? Where’s Nik?” you asked, your voice raspy. Hanna and Kady looked at each other, afraid to remind you what happened to both Nik and Ezra.  
“(Y/N)…they-they didn’t make it. BeiTech sent their own fighters and-and they…they’re gone.” You could here Kady trying, very hard, not to break down at that very moment but it made it even harder for you. All these months you were prepared to never see Nik again, to raise your child alone and if you’d ever see Nik, that he would hate you. But just a few weeks ago that changed. You knew you didn’t have to go through this alone, Nik would be by your side, supporting you where and whenever he could. And now? Now your life crumbled down in front of you. The one person you truly, without a doubt, care about was gone. Dead. Thinking about all this made your breathing speed up, short and flat gasps leaving your body. Kady tried to take your hand when out of nowhere you felt a sharp pain shooting through your lower abdomen, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut and let out a gasp.  
“Oh my god, (Y/N)-Hanna go get a nurse or a doctor. I think the baby is coming,” Kady instructed Hanna while you nodded at her statement when you felt your water breaking, confirming that, yes the baby was coming. In this very moment.  
“I can’t do this, Kady,” you panted, “not without Nik.”  
“Yes, you can, (Y/N). I’ll help you, we will all help you, okay?”  
Within the next few minutes, a nurse and a doctor came rushing in, checking how much dilated you were and were preparing you to give birth and push out your baby.

While you felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing you with a hot knife, down on Kerenza IV Nik and Ezra had survived, thanks to the parachute Nik kept strapped to his back even after being ridiculed for wearing one in space all the time. Well, looks who’s laughing now.  
“Alright, Babyface, we might have survived but I have a pregnant girlfriend, who’s probably gonna kill me, to get to. So let’s get off this freezing planet.”  
“How many times do I have to tell you, don’t call me that,” Ezra sighed, annoyed by the stupid nickname his friend had given him.  
Soon enough they found a shuttle to take them and some of the survivors on Kerenza to the Magellan, where you were refusing to cooperate, not wanting to start this new part of your life without Nik.

“(Y/N), you need to push! You’re risking your life and the life of your baby,” the doctor tried to talk to you but at this point you were blatantly sobbing, refusing to push even though the pain got worse with every second. Kady stood by your side, holding your hand, while Hanna, Ella, Isaac Grant and Winifred McCall waited outside your room. On the Magellan, you had better equipment and more space, which gave you the benefit of having your own room and some privacy.  
“I can’t. No, I don’t want to. Not without Nik,” your cried out, still not over the ‘death’ of your boyfriend. With every passing second the pain in your lower abdomen got worse but still, you didn’t bother to push.

Outside your room, Hanna suddenly got a message from one of the shuttles, telling her that both Ezra and Nik had made it out alive and were now arriving in Bay 2. While you were still in immense pain, doctor and nurse yelling at you to push, Hanna ran to Bay 2, where she pulled both Ezra and Nik into a bone-crushing hug.  
“Quick, (Y/N) is in labour and she’s refusing to do it without you, Nik,” Hanna urged, already turning to run back to the infirmary. Nik and Ezra were both shocked, staring at the blond girl in front of them.  
“L-labor?” Nik asked, dumbfounded since he didn’t expect the baby to arrive just yet.  
However, within only a few seconds, he quickly sprinted after Hanna, Ezra right behind him. They pushed through people, not bothering to excuse themselves. Even from afar they could hear your screams and sobs, which only prompted Nik to run faster, pushing past Hanna, just to see his cousin sitting in front of the room his girlfriend was supposed to give birth in. As much as he wanted to stop, Nik sprinted past his friends and family and slammed open the door, so that it hit the wall.

You were screaming in pain by now, feeling like you were being ripped apart, tears streaming down your face. And still, all you could think about was Niklas Malikov.   
“Please, (Y/N/N). Just push. For you and fo-“ She was interrupted by a loud bang coming from the door. You were convicted you were starting to hallucinate, the pain making you see things. Or people. People who were supposed to be dead, specifically.  
“Nik…” you breathed, afraid that he wasn’t real and it was just your mind playing tricks on you. But apparently Kady saw him too because she let go of your hand and rushed out of the room, in hopes to see her tall boyfriend standing there. Nik quickly walked over to you, taking your hand in his, giving it a squeeze and kissing you on your forehead.  
“I’m here, (Y/N), I’m here. But you need to be strong now and push, okay?” he told you, tears glistening in his eyes, while you were crying out of pure relief and happiness to know that he didn’t die.  
“Alright, (Y/N). PUSH!”

After just about an hour, your little girl was officially born. After she was cleaned up, clothes were put on her and she was wrapped in a blanket, the nurse handed the infant to you. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at the tiny human in your arms and as you looked up at Nik you saw him wiping his eyes. He looked at you, leaning down to kiss your lips. This was the first time you could really register what just happened, Nik was alive after all and he was sitting beside you, dirty, bloody and sweaty but alive. You both looked down at the little bundle in your arms, just as she opened her (Y/E/C) eyes, blinking at the two of you.  
Several minutes later, there was a knock on your door and Kady’s head appeared in the doorway.  
“Hey,” she said quietly, “can we come in?”  
“Yea, sure,” Nik answered for you, while you were softly and slowly stroking your daughter’s cheek. The door opened further and in came, Kady, Ella, Hanna, Ezra, Isaac and Winifred, all with big smiles on their faces when they saw Nik and you sitting together on the hospital bed, your daughter pressed to your chest. Nik immediately stood up from the bed and walked over to Ella, who had tears in her eyes, and hugged her as tight as he could, being happy to see his little cousin alive and well.  
“Do you have a name for her?” Ezra was the first one to break the silence. You smiled at Nik, having discussed the name before your friends entered the room.  
“Yep, meet Syra Helena Malikov,” you smiled at the group in front of you. Both, you and Nik choose this name to honour your former Captain, Syra Boll, and Kady’s mum and Isaac’s wife, Helena Grant, who sadly died on the Copernicus after BeiTechs initial attack on Kerenza.  
You could see Kady and Isaac trying to hold back their tears when they realised you’d named your daughter after their mum and wife.  
“Well, let’s see the little girl. I can just hope she looks nothing like Nik, wouldn’t want to be tortured with that ugliness,” Ella teased as she rolled over in her wheelchair to your bed. You carefully handed her your baby, watching together with Nik who now sat beside you again as she smiled at the little girl in her arms, tears welling up in her eyes. In those few moments, the pain, the loss and the sacrifices from the last months were forgotten. Everyone was happy to see little Syra Helena Malikov well and happy, smiling happily at her parents and her godfamily. After all these months, everything stood still for a few moments while the Illuminae Group looked down at their newest member.


End file.
